Inaugural MotoE GP this weekend ( Electric MotoGP replacement )

MotoE bikes – the facts ;

The MotoE motorcycles are fully electric and zero-emission.
The top speed is 155mph compared to 220mph for a MotoGP machine.
A MotoE bike can go 0-60mph in three seconds.
There is no gearbox or clutch.
MotoE motorcycles weigh nearly 60% more than MotoGP machines.
They take no more than an hour to charge, and for every hour there is 20 miles of maximum performance from that battery.

Race calendar

Race one: 5-7 July – Sachsenring, Germany
Race two: 9-11 August – Red Bull Ring, Austria
Races three and four: 13-15 September – Misano, Italy
Races five and six: 15-17 November 15 – Valencia, Spain

“Imagine what it would be like peddling a bicycle, without pedalling, and without it being a bicycle”

“The roar of an akrapovic exhaust at 100mph filtering down the M50 being replaced by the whirring spin of a playstation console within the speed limits and all controlled by a government App which must be kept up to date.”

“Birds have been doing just fine for years without propellers and jet engines polluting the atmosphere and melting the ice-caps leaving thousands of penguins stranded, homeless and in despair.”

“This sound of silence marks the beginning of a new era and the end of a chapter on antisocial internal combustion engines”

“MotoGP are at the forefront of this silent protest against historically noisy and wreckless motorcycles damaging our environment, and are leading by example towards a revolutionary new propulsion method to harmonise our carbon footprint and help create a much healthier environment for bees, butterflies and everyday sustainable living for the greater good of humanity”
Caoimhe Butterly, The Green Party

For MotoGP rider Bradley Smith this is now his reality as he prepares to compete in the MotoE World Cup.

The new event is part of the MotoGP series and is the equivalent of Formula E, as it features electric motorcycles powered by renewable energy.

Bike fans will have to be content with a new ‘silent’ alternative. MotoE machines have no engine, no gearbox and are charged by batteries.

“I can hear my knee slider touch the ground and I can hear my bike vibrate as it goes over the kerbs, and all of that is really strange,” says Smith, who will be racing for the One Energy Racing team.

“For me, it’s like something out of Star Wars – they’re not completely quiet, the bike still has character.”

The opening race gets under way on 7 July at the Sachsenring in Germany, but there were doubts the championship would ever go ahead this year after a fire at a test session a few months back destroyed every single bike.

The March 2019 fires engulfed a newly built ‘E-paddock’ causing almost 1.6 million metric tons of toxic hydrocarbon emissions to be released into the atmosphere, and while no-one was injured, an investigation is still underway.

However, MotoGP bosses confirmed that a ‘short circuit’ reference at a debriefing may have been the culprit and misinterpreted to mean something else. This will now be refereed to as ‘international nautical unit distances of measurement’ in order to avoid further confusion and the inadvertent loading of electrical charging units which sources say may have caused the batteries to overheat and self combust following much confusion and language misinterpretation surrounding the statement.

References to ‘International Circuit’ will remain the same.

The inaugural MotoE GP race was previously set to be held in Jerez on 5 May before the incident which claimed 1,600 Madagascar penguins and caused paddock wide power disruptions and outages for iphone users. British rider Bradley Smith, 28, was not sure if he could even ring home ;

“I was heartbroken – my battery was on 12% and twitter was pushing updates from people i don’t even know, bookface was serving russian ads for blowup dolls and the missus was wrecking me head about toilet seats”

“Just when I went looking for a charger, whamm, lights out – a total nightmare like independence day, I thought the world was about to end.

I missed the best episode of Strictly and had to sit there in total silence waiting for an update in my underpants which stank of wee. You see the films but you never imagine its going to be you, this was much worse – a real Hell on earth until the power got restored and I’m not ashamed to admit it, but I’ve been to several counselling groups since the outage which have really helped me come to terms with the total despair and isolation,. breathing exercises really helped “

Motorcycling Hand Gestures and their meanings

Although motorcycle hand gestures are something that most riders learn as part of their motorcycle license exams, often they are forgotten and not used when actually needed. For example, if another motorist cuts you up, is on the phone or generally driving in a selfish and oblivious manner which could be detrimental to your health, then communication between bikers and other motorists via hand signals are critical towards staying safe at all times.

 

Motorcycle Left Turn

Pull over is an invitation to a severe bollocking from an angry biker by the road side in order to determine who was at fault, this is sometimes accompanied by sharp increases in revs from the engine.

 

 

Motorcycle Right Turn

I’ll box the head a ya  A clenched fist indicates to other motorists that you are now quite angry, upset and willing to beat people up for their stupidity and misbehaviour on the public road.

 

 

MotorcycleStop

Ya bender A derogatory signal often aimed at motorists who lock their doors and want to avoid confrontation, it calls into question their very masculinity which can sometimes be offensive.

 

 

Motorcycle Speed Up

WTF dude? A show of dismay, often aimed at people much bigger than you who could possibly gain the upper-hand in a road-side wrestle or fist fight, but shows you are unwilling to let it slide none the less.

 

 

Motorcycle Slow Down

Tentative ‘pull over’  Half-hearted gesture to make you feel better but secretly in the hope that they wont pull up, often directed towards truck drivers and foreigners about whom it is difficult to ascertain if they could be > 6ft4 in stature.

 

 

Follow Me

No problem Often follows an acknowledgement by the other road user, usually a popular & well-known neighbour with a nice daughter, that they could have inadvertently killed you, none the less you’d rather not labour the point because they waved a kind gesture which made you feel a lot better.

 

 

Motorcycle You Lead Come

You Brainless Cunt, pull over Attempts to breathe slowly while maintaining composure with people you shouldn’t really beat the shit out of, such as pensioners, women and priests, but would rather engage in a stern talk and re-educate them on the consequences of their actions.

 

 

Motorcycle Road Hazard

Pull over for a kick up the hole A half hearted signal for other motorists to express dismay at their behaviour while exercising restraint with synchronised knee movements in an up the hole fashion.

 

 

Motorcycle Single File

Winner Alright First Biker to the post while slowing down from a Hoolie run in order to let the group of ensuing riders know who won a tightly run contest, an informal and unwritten expression of glee and triumph at being quite talented & clever.

 

 

Motorcycle Double File

Hafta Shite Pulling in for a number 2 – an urgent message expressing the need to evacuate ones bowels at the nearest available lavatory and opportunity, usually follows an excessively high speed run and ‘close call’ with other traffic that could have went pear-shaped in spectacular fashion.

 

 

Motorcycle Comfort Stop

G’on y’wanker  Poking fun at another motorist, usually a BMW driver or boy-racer who thought he were fast but took umbrage at your shockingly quick overtake and exhibition of real speed, with a flashing of lights or blowing their horn in scornful protest & disbelief.

 

 

Motorcycle Comfort Stop

Itchy Nose completely forgetting you had a helmet on while attempting to scratch or pick your nose thru the visor, usually an involuntary movement while waiting at the lights after being distracted by hot totty and nonchalantly assessing possible escape routes from your immediate playground.

 

 

Motorcycle Turn Signal On

Frozen hands Attempts to increase blood-flow and circulation with rapid hand movement and finger articulations while riding through the winter months with shyte gloves, no heated grips, early onset of arthritis and fingers being frozen solid.

 

 

Motorcycle Pull Off

Hail Hitler A pursuing Garda’s gesture often synonymous with a misunderstood Austrian who allegedly introduced 6-million Jews to Zyklon B during a WW2 roadside breath-test, do you risk pulling over to be turned into soap and your skin draped over a lamp-shade ? me neither, pin it.

 

 

Motorcycle Cops Ahead

Dick Head Enlightens a fellow muppet road user in no uncertain terms as to their propensity and footing on the richter scale of wankerism during the course of their conduct on a public road, the head being the highest point articulates a not inconsiderable misdemeanour often caused by, but not exclusive to ‘suits’.

 

 

Motorcycle Fuel

‘Sup Bitches Attempts to looks like you’re just casually relaxing while riding a noisy piece of shit down a busy street, esp. when there are impressionable females present and you’d rather not be regarded as a go-go power-ranger, usually undertaken when you’ve not got laid or had any attention for several weeks.

 

 

Most motorcycle hand signals are fairly intuitive, especially when combined with appropriate body language; however, new riders may be confused upon first seeing them.

MV Agusta limited edition Series Oro range is already sold out

MV Agusta limited edition Series Oro range is already sold out

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